Bemused by Time

(Salvador Dali’s The Persistence of Memory 1931)

Back in July, I wrote HERE about how my life was being abruptly pushed in an unanticipated direction with my bad back forcing an earlier-than-planned retirement.

This past Thursday was my last day at work. It was kind of bittersweet, as I imagine those last days often are. I adore my co-workers, who gave me a wonderful gift of a Creative Block. This cool little box contains little prompts for finding creativity when it feels elusive, but they also included little hand-written messages to me. I’ve only let myself read a few at a time, trying to drag things out. But this is a perfect gift for me. I told them, I’d change the names if any of them make it into a future book! 😉

I’ve worked as a physical therapist for thirty-two years, and now…

How can thirty-two years have passed so quickly? And why did it feel it was creeping by as I was going through it? How can time do both things simultaneously?

These are the questions that keep roiling around in my head as I try to get a grip on how to structure my days now that there are fewer outside things imposing structure on them. I know myself well enough to know I NEED structure, and perhaps a schedule, even if it’s of my own making. There are so many things I’ve longed to have more time to do, as well as many projects around the house that have needed more time than I had.

Later this month, Beth and I will celebrate twenty-nine years together. Holy cow! This, too, feels as fresh as it did when it was new, and yet, it feels as comfortable as if we’ve spent a lifetime together.

A couple of days ago, a friend lost her husband of forty years to a sudden heart attack. I can only imagine how devastated she and their children are. News like that cannot help but remind you how quickly life can change. It makes you want to cling to the one you love, just hold her and never let go.

Add in a pandemic that has kept many of us from seeing family and friends face-to-face for over a year and a half, and those connections to the ones we love feel even more tenuous.

However time moves for you, I hope you have time to see the people you love, to do the things that bring you joy, and some quiet moments to just sit and ponder the mysteries of time.

Pax

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10 thoughts on “Bemused by Time

  1. I remember thinking recently, “Wow, this day is moving so slowly. And I love that!” Most days feel too fast, cramped somehow… I blame technology, but it’s also increasing age, I’m sure.
    I wish you well on your retirement, Caren. I feel I’m partly retired, without much fanfare! Working from home feels like that. Though it doesn’t feel spacious and fun, most of the time. You could always take up some sort of part-time or volunteer work so that it won’t be such a jarring transition.

  2. I enjoyed reading this so , thank you 😊
    Congratulations on your retirement. I think it’s amazing how life forces you into things that are not necessarily planned but need to happen. You are right where you are suppose to be at the right time. Life is a series of constant change and I hope you embrace this change and find so much Joy and happiness from it. Also Congratulations to your wife as well as I’m sure she worked hard right along with you. My very very BEST WISHES to both of you ❤

    • Thank you, Heather. You’re right. I do believe we are led (shoved?) in the direction we’re meant to go. And my wife has been great (despite a little grumbling about my disrupting her retirement schedule). 🙂

  3. Congratulations, Caren, on your full retirement and to both of you on your 29th anniversary! I think time might keep bending for you for a while as you adjust to a new daily routine/schedule. 🙂

  4. I used to find downtime from work depressing because I needed the structure and pressure of the deadlines, so I worried about retirement. Fortunately, I’m busier than ever and have no idea how I ever got anything done while working. So congrats on the retirement, and I hope the back doesn’t prevent you from enjoying it (is it ironic that a physical therapist is done in by a bad back?). Here’s to more time for writing and being with loved ones.

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